When Your Spouse Had (or Won’t End) an Affair
You have more power than you think you do. Here’s how you can start using it smartly.
If your spouse had an emotional or physical affair, and especially if they're still being untrustworthy, uncooperative, or ambivalent, The Stubborn Affair is an indispensable book that can help. It contains the eye-opening insights and detailed marriage-saving strategies that have proven successful for my past clients, all delivered in a forthright fashion, so you can manage this marriage crisis from start to finish—that is, from discovery to recovery—in a thoughtful, confident way.
The Stubborn Affair helps you decode and understand your spouse's behavior—and yes, possible manipulations (e.g. an unwillingness to talk about it, unfair self-focus, showing feelings for the affair partner, refusing to make reasonable changes, etc.). It also dares to go where few resources tread… straight into the situation where an unfaithful spouses refuses to end their affair or refuses to end it completely. That intractable situation is the stubbornest of all, but there are ways to manage it with dignity, clarity and purpose. That’s something that your spouse needs to see you doing—and you need to see it in yourself.
An unapologetically practical and plainspoken guide, The Stubborn Affair also gives you crucial "do this, don't do that" strategies so that you can handle the daily challenges of a difficult affair situation in those ways that are in your best interests, and the best interests of your marriage, in the long term.
Will your spouse reconnect with the other person? How should you handle relapses?
If your spouse is cooperative and remorseful, that is good. You will find vital step-by-step direction in The Stubborn Affair to lead you through all stages of the infidelity, from discovery to healing.
But unfortunately, many unfaithful spouses reconnect with the affair partner in some way. Some are apologetic for a while, but soon lose patience with their spouse's questions or sadness. They may be thinking and feeling many different things you aren't expecting. That's why you must know how to deal with changing or challenging emotions and events as they arise or repeat. That's why this book doesn't shy away from including that kind of candid guidance, but rather acts as a map to a better marriage, one that leads you through the rockiest parts so you can reconnect as a couple.
This book isn’t therapy.
It’s strategic management of your spouse’s infidelity and this marriage crisis.
Because you love your spouse, and despite what is happening, you want to see whether your marriage can be saved. Your spouse may want that too, even if they're not acting like it right now.
All the more reason for them to see you acting with clarity, reasonableness and dignity during this challenging but surmountable time in your marriage. All the more reason for you to proceed thoughtfully and purposefully with every step… which is precisely what this book is designed to help you do.
